The Great Grandparent Conundrum
by Artemis Day
Summary: Darcy Lewis is Steve Rogers' soulmate. She is also Bucky Barnes' granddaughter. But then Jane is Bucky's soulmate. Can it possibly get any weirder than that? Yes. Yes, it can.
1. Component No 1: Darcy Lewis

**A/N: This is my gift for McGregorsWench as part of Darcyland Secret Santa 2016. Please note, this story is NOT Civil War compliant. Civil War DID NOT happen here. They all had a pizza party instead**.

* * *

Of the many great quandaries that can afflict one in their everyday life, some are considerably more rare than others. In fact, some are downright unheard of. Some only exist because just one of the seven billion people on earth found themselves in a situation so far outside the norm that even within the realm of fantasy, it's simply too absurd to consider.

When faced with such a conundrum, as some scientists would say, one must first look at all the different components working together to create the larger whole.

 **COMPONENT NO. 1: Darcy Lewis**

From a young age, Darcy learned one very important thing from Grandma Connie: the world is a strange place, and strange shit will happen to you if you if you don't watch your step. While Darcy's mother had kind of flipped her lid when she heard her six year old repeat that word for word, it was a personal philosophy Darcy did her best to live by.

That was why when she was in college, and the only good internship opportunity came from a possibly crazy lady looking for wormholes in the desert, Darcy just rolled with it. Jane turned out to be pretty awesome and relatively sane, so it worked out well for her this time. The part about wormholes and also literal aliens being real also helped. It was the most eventful summer of Darcy's life, and now that shady government agencies were getting involved and offering checks with many zeroes for her to continue assisting Jane with her research, it didn't look like the season would be ending anytime soon.

She called Grandma Connie first thing. They'd made a promise years ago to never keep any secrets from each other, and just because there were god-aliens and secret agents involved didn't mean Darcy was going to go back on it.

"That's amazing, Dar," Grandma Connie said, followed by a raspy laugh. All those years of fashionable cigarette smoking had just started catching up to her with her recent emphysema diagnosis. "Always knew you'd be a magnet for crazy. Just like me when I was your age."

"Yeah, but I might not be able to call you much for a while, Grandma," said Darcy, peering through the curtains to make sure Jane's trailer wasn't under surveillance. "These SHIELD guys mean business, let me tell you."

"Reminds me of the time I almost got drafted into Captain America's USO show. Oh now, that one was a hoot and a holler!"

Darcy settled down with a pillow under her head and listened to Grandma Connie retell the same, probably untrue story that she'd heard a thousand times before. Little details changed every time. There was a sideshow carnival involved this time around where another version had a theater troupe. True or not, it was one of Darcy's favorites. She always said that her grandmother should've written children's books. The only problem was that every single story, no matter what it was about or what prompted her to start telling it, always ended the same way.

"Of course, none of that could ever compare to the night a Howling Commando swept me off my feet."

And even though they weren't in the same room, Darcy knew exactly the kind of face her grandma was making right now. That dreamy, happy twinkle in her eye and the wistful smile as she recalled that magical night so many decades ago and mimed their dance with one of Darcy's stuffed toys to get a laugh out of her. That was when Grandma Connie could still stand without her slipped disks acting up. Nowadays, she spent most of her time in her favorite rocking chair, in Darcy's aunt's house.

"You know, Grandma, you've talked about that night a lot," said Darcy, "but in all this time, I still don't know which of those guys it was."

"Don't you?" Grandma Connie said. "Sounds like you don't learn anything in those classes of yours."

"Grandma, I told you, political science is not history," Darcy said, smiling. If it was anyone else, she'd give them a good slap in the face for that one, but she could never be mad at Grandma Connie. "Plus, I don't think I'm going to find 'Sex Lives of War Heroes 101' anywhere in the curriculum."

"Now that's a darn shame. It was quite a night, let me tell you. He was a remarkable dancer in more ways than one."

"Okay, Grandma, too much information. Let's stop there."

Grandma Connie laughed. "If you think that's bad, wait until I tell you what happened after I met my soulmate."

"Please don't," said Darcy. Outside, Jane was calling her name, and if she didn't answer soon, there would be five feet and one hundred and twenty pounds of scientist on her ass all night. "I'd like to keep remembering Grandpa as a man with a bad hip who liked to pull quarters out of my ear."

"Too bad. He was quite the looker, and a _wonderful_ dancer. All the girls were jealous. Course, they would of been jealouser if they knew about that night a Howling Commando swept me off my feet!"

"I know Grandma," Darcy said fondly, tracing the messy cursive wrapped around the inside of her wrist.

* * *

Darcy had a soulmark because the universe hated her.

No, that wasn't true. According to society, her mark was a symbol of good fortune as it meant that someday when she found the right person to say those six words out loud, her life would be nothing but bliss and happiness. That's what it meant to have a soulmate after all.

And it wasn't that Darcy didn't buy it or hadn't spent her childhood dreaming of the handsome prince who would sweep her off her feet. What little girl didn't? Soulmate or no.

The problem was more the mark itself because Darcy had been 'blessed' with the most annoying basic words in existence: unique enough to recognize but common enough that they could be spoken by anyone.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" asked the first person to ever say those words to her. He'd been a new guy at school, cute with nice dimples and green eyes. He hadn't been her soulmate, though. Neither had the next guy or the guy after that. One guy tried to pretend he was her soulmate just to get her into bed, and if he hadn't been forty-two, married, and the assistant dean at the university, he might've succeeded. Instead, he got fired and his wife took the house and the kids. Sucks to be him.

By the time she moved with Jane into Avenger's tower in Manhattan, Darcy had been through so many false alarms that it didn't even phase her anymore when someone politely requested the free chair next to her. She kept her answers unique just in case, but otherwise didn't get crazy hoping that the next time she went out to eat in public, or to a sporting event, or to a concert, or anywhere else where one might need to pull up a chair, the person who asked would be her One True Love. If it happened, it happened. If it didn't… well, her mother and father weren't soulmates and they had a very happy six years together before the divorce.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

She was in the food court with Jane when she heard it. Only Jane was in line at the Chinese place getting their lo mein, so Darcy was alone in this. She put down her iPad and picked up her soda to take a drink. Then she looked at the speaker.

Steve Rogers.

Steve Rogers had just said her soulmate words. Add yet another tally to the 'false alarm' board. Darcy might not have ever spoken to him before, but he was Captain America for Christ's sake. The only way he could be her soulmate was if they were in a parallel universe where insane things that didn't happen actually happened.

With that in mind, Darcy couldn't even be bothered to give him something special. "Nope. All yours, dude."

As expected, he took the chair and started going back to his table, where Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, and a bunch of other Avengers in plain clothes were waiting. Darcy returned to her game of Fruit Ninja and didn't notice that Steve had stopped and turned around to stare intently at the back of her head. Not until he was beside her, his large body filling her vision, did she look up.

"Sorry to bother you again," he said with a slight stammer, "but uh... is what I just said your soulmate words?"

A cold chill ran up Darcy's back. She was stock still and staring like an idiot for far too long, and not only were his barely disguised super friends watching, but Darcy was pretty sure all the entire food court had gone quiet. Either she was hallucinating because her brain had shut down from the shock, or Darcy was about to introduce herself to her maybe soulmate in front of hundreds, if not thousands, of onlookers.

"Uh…" She couldn't say more, so instead, she started pinching herself.

Steve blinked. "What are you doing?"

"Checking to see if this is a parallel universe," Darcy said. "Though I guess pinching yourself is more of a dream thing… and since I'm not waking up, we can rule out that possibility."

He gave a smile, and it was the kind of smile that on his face could melt panties. Darcy was pretty sure hers had disintegrated, but then he had to go and take his jacket off and roll up his sleeve and then there was Darcy's writing on his bicep- _holy shit that bicep…_

"That… would be mine," she said, gesturing at his arm. At least she tried to, but her body wasn't listening to her brain right now, and she waved too hard. It looked like she was motioning at all of him. "I mean the writing is mine. Not you."

He chuckled, taking her by the hand. "Technically, since we're soulmates, you're right either way."

And just like that, Darcy Lewis was the luckiest woman to ever live.

* * *

The second step to finding your soulmate is immediately telling those closest to you. Jane came back with the food and was both shocked and pleased by the news. Since she was currently still looking for her soulmate after the whole Thor thing hadn't worked out, she could understand what a happy time this would be for her friend. Steve's buddies were equally thrilled and they all had an excellent time getting to know each other as friends until Steve and Darcy excused themselves to go and get to know each other in another sense.

Which Darcy hoped meant he'd fuck her against the nearest wall. He was so strong that he'd probably have no trouble holding her up. Of course, then there was the whole thing about 'not rushing' and 'go on a date first' and 'even though he's your soulmate that doesn't mean he's the perfect man and you have to know his history first and how many people he's been with and do you even know his middle name yet? blah blah safety blah.' With that in mind, Darcy stopped just short of jumping him the second they got in the elevator.

"Have you ever had sex?" she asked.

He was clearly taken aback by the question, but he seemed to understand why she asked it. "No, I haven't."

"Okay, same. How many girls have you kissed?"

"Altogether? Three. But I only really wanted to kiss one of them, and that was seventy years ago, so…"

"Cool. I've kissed four guys. One more question: what's your middle name?"

"Er- Grant."

"Elizabeth." Darcy grinned and threw her arms around his neck. To her immense delight, he really could hold her like she weighed nothing. "Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to business."

They were still 'getting down to business' when the elevator stopped on Steve's floor. Miraculously, no one else got on with them in that time. If someone had tried, they would probably be traumatized for life by what they saw. Assuming Steve or Darcy couldn't back off from sucking face long enough to kindly ask them to leave. Though the doors opened up for them, Darcy had just gotten her hands under Steve's shirt, and she was far too busy exploring paradise to think that it might be more comfortable to ravish and be ravished on a bed or a carpeted floor with some pillows.

"Stevie! I see you're finally becoming a man. I'm so proud of you."

Steve sprung away from Darcy, and unless this was a very close, personal friend of his, Darcy was going to hate them forever.

"Hey Bucky," Steve said through his teeth. Bucky had a playful grin on his face that, oddly enough, was exactly the kind of look Darcy's father would give her whenever he caught her getting into trouble.

"You wanna introduce me to your lady friend?" Bucky asked, nodding at Darcy.

Steve took her by the hand, a rather innocent gesture considering he'd been trying to unhook her bra eight seconds ago. "Buck, this is Darcy, and we just found out that we're soulmates."

"Nice to meet you," said Darcy, "Steve has not told me so much about you."

"Likewise," said Bucky.

They shook hands, then went to get some drinks and chat for awhile. Despite his unfortunate cockblocking ways, Darcy thought she was going to like Bucky Barnes. He acted just like a best friend should, shamelessly ribbing Steve for his lack of experience ('if he ever asks you about going to get some fondue, you should know that he thinks it means-') and telling lots of embarrassing stories from their childhood ('so he has his foot stuck in the fence post now and his pants are down to his ankles…'). Darcy was having such a good time, she almost missed her phone going off.

"Hey Mom, what's up?" she said.

Her mother's voice instantly sucked away all the happy. "Honey, it's Grandma Connie."

Darcy sat up straight. "What? What's wrong with Grandma?"

She listened to her mother explain, not speaking even though there was so much to say. She'd have to save it for the trip back home. She was on the train not half an hour later, put on board by Steve with a hug and a kiss and a promise to call him as soon as she got to her aunt's house. He would've come too, but it hadn't even been a full day since they found each other. They decided it was best not to break the news to her family just yet.

Darcy was back in New Jersey by nightfall, and as she sat down at her grandmother's bedside, it struck her how very old and frail she really was. It didn't seem right; Grandma Connie had always been an insanely tough woman. That was how she'd survived to be almost a hundred years old, even after the deaths of her soulmate and oldest son. She was one of those people that you just can't imagine the world without. Like David Bowie or Alan Rickman.

Her eyes cracked open and she gave a toothless smile. "There you are. I've been waiting all day for you."

Darcy forced back her tears. "Mom said you weren't feeling well."

"Oh, that big worrywart," Grandma Connie grumbled. "I get a cold and she's ready to call in the priest to give me last rites. Ridiculous."

"She's just worried about you, Grandma. We all are."

Grandma Connie sighed and started to move. Darcy tried to stop her, but her grandma still had enough strength to push her hands away. Muttering about how she wasn't dead yet and could help herself, thank you very much, she stacked her pillows so that she could sit up.

"Well, while I'm still not convinced that I'm on the verge of a dirt nap," she said, "I suppose I might as well tell you that little secret I've been holding onto just in case."

"Secret?" Darcy asked. As far as she knew, her grandma didn't have any skeletons in the closet, but then again, a lot can happen in ninety eight years.

"First of all, your grandpa knew all about this, so I don't want you thinking I was keeping anything from him," she said sternly. "You never keep secrets from your soulmate, Darcy, understand?"

"I know," Darcy said. "I'll never do that."

"Good girl," said Grandma Connie. "Now, I've always liked telling you about the night a Howling Commando swept me off my feet, but the truth is I've never told you the whole story."

"Seriously?"

"You'd think I would've, I know. It's just that some things, you can't really talk to a child about, and what we did that night is one of them. What we did after the dancing I mean. When we got to the real dancing."

"...oh. I see," said Darcy. She looked to see if anyone else was in the room with them, but her aunt it seemed had returned to the kitchen. There was no one to rescue her. "That's great, Grandma."

"I'm talking about sex."

"You know, I'm really hungry right now. I think Aunt Maria is making baked ham tonight. We should-"

"There's no time for food, Darcy. This is important." Grandma Connie crossed her arms over her chest. "Now, after he left for the war, I met my soulmate a few weeks later. He'd been excused from service due to his three brothers having been drafted. We got married almost immediately because I was pregnant."

"Yeah, you've told me that. You've told the whole family that story," said Darcy.

"Yes, but there's one thing I didn't tell them," said Grandma Connie, with a slight pause for what Darcy could only assume was dramatic effect. "You see, when I met my soulmate, I was already pregnant."

...okay, that explained the dramatic effect. Because that was a really dramatic revelation.

"Wait, what? You were pregnant by… hold on, my dad was your first child."

Grandma Connie nodded. "That's right."

"Grandpa wasn't really his dad? He wasn't really my grandpa?" Darcy sprung out of the chair, tears fresh in her eyes.

"Now don't be like that. He loved your father as his own son and he loved you as his granddaughter. That's the only thing that matters." Grandma Connie sighed and looked down at her lap. "But we decided together that it was best to let sleeping dogs lie. My son's birth father had been killed in action, and I didn't know how to contact his family to let them know. I'd written him, but he was MIA for a time before he became a Howling Commando. Then after we discovered he'd fallen off that train-"

"Train?" Darcy's heart, already rapidly sinking into her feet, exploded and died as she put the pieces together. "My dad's biological father… the Howling Commando… he fell off a train?"

"Darcy, sweetheart, is something wrong?" Grandma Connie asked. "You looking a little pale and sweaty."


	2. Component No 2: Jane Foster

**COMPONENT NO. 2: Jane Foster**

"He's your GRANDFATHER?"

Jane Foster had seen and heard a lot of weird things in her life. Hell, she'd visited an alien world once, something no other human being in the last thousand years could boast, but of all the insanity that could possibly happen, this took the cake by far. This was like Twilight Zone material.

"Please don't shout," Darcy said from her spot on Jane's couch, an open book over her face to block out the light. "I'm still trying to pretend this is all a dream."

"James Buchanan Barnes, the war hero and best friend of your soulmate, is your grandfather," Jane said. If she hadn't known that cryogenics and super serums were involved, she'd never believe it. But they were, and this was in fact reality. She'd reluctantly obliged to slap Darcy just one time to be sure. "Well… that's an unexpected development."

"You think?" Darcy snapped. She threw off the book and it landed in the wastebasket, turning it over and spilling paper and candy wrappers everywhere. "It doesn't make any sense. I mean, yeah, my dad was born in the forties. He was already old when he married my mom and had me, but it still makes no sense."

"I hate to break it to you, Darcy," said Jane, "but as long as your grandma is sure that she was pregnant when she met your grandfather, and that she hadn't been with anyone other than Sergeant Barnes, then it does check out."

"But he's my age!"

"Technically, he's ninety-nine. He just has a young body."

"But I already had a grandpa!"

"Well, as long as he loved you like a granddaughter-"

Darcy let out a scream of frustration and buried her head under a pile of throw pillows. She beat the one over her head enough times that if it hadn't been there, her skull would've caved in. As her anger faded, her arm dropped. It hung limp and lifeless on the ground while Darcy moaned like a baby, during which time, Jane typed out some important emails and conversed with Tony and Bruce over a group chat about their latest project. Some twenty minutes passed before Darcy was able to continue the conversation.

"I guess I have to tell Steve," she said.

Jane stared at her incredulously. "Steve? You have to tell Barnes, Darcy. He's the one this is going to affect the most."

"Don't remind me," she muttered. She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a can of soda. That was good. At least she wasn't trying to drown her problems in beer like some people would. "I don't know how to tell either one of them. It's not like I could just go up to Steve and be like, 'Hey, guess what? Turns out my grandma once slept with your best friend and now he's my grandpa.' How well do you think that's going to go over?"

Jane didn't have to think anything, because while Darcy was ranting with her back to the wide open door, she failed to see Steve walk inside and stop short of sneaking up behind her to surprise her. His face fell as Darcy's words registered in his mind, and Jane felt a stab of pity for the poor man. He looked just like her dad always did when he'd been given bad news. Right down to the left eye twitch as a matter of fact.

"Uh, Darcy?" Jane said.

"Jane, please don't interrupt me. You know I hate that." Darcy ran fingers through her hair and just missed whacking Steve in the face. "I guess you do have a point that telling Bucky will be the hard part. He's the one who's going to find out he has a son. Or had one anyway. Never thought I'd be relieved that my father is dead, but can you imagine how much more difficult this would be if he was alive?"

"Darcy, you need to look-"

"No, I'm serious. Even without him, this could cause a lot of problems. There's my family to think about, how they would react. Grandma Connie is probably going to have a heart attack when she finds out."

"Darcy-"

"I guess, for now, I have to worry most about how this will affect my relationship with Steve. We only just found each other. It's been two days. If it turns out this is too weird for him and he doesn't want to be with me because his best friend is my grandfather, I'll be crushed. Because I know we could have something beautiful together."

"Darcy!"

"I just need to break it to him gently. I need to get him alone, casually bring it up in the middle of conversation, ease him into the idea of banging his best buddy's grandkid, and he's right behind me, isn't he?"

There was nothing Jane could say that would ever make this moment okay, so she went back to her laptop and put her earbuds in with the music turned all the way up. She didn't hear any of the ensuing conversation beyond Steve's earth-shattering scream.

"He's your WHAT?"

* * *

They were back in the food court the next day. Steve and Darcy had apparently had a very long conversation the night before and as far as Jane could tell, they were still holding on to their budding romance and weren't going to let their strange circumstances ruin it yet. Jane could respect that. Her parents had been crazy in love from the start, married straight out of college, and even now, so long after her father's fatal car accident, Jane's mother refused to find another love match. She'd only gotten twelve years with her soulmate, but according to her, even twelve minutes with John would've been enough for a lifetime.

They were back in the food court the next day. Steve and Darcy had apparently had a very long conversation the night before and as far as Jane could tell, they were still holding on to their budding romance and weren't going to let their strange circumstances ruin it yet. Jane could respect that. Her parents had been crazy in love from the start, married straight out of college, and even now, so long after her father's fatal car accident, Jane's mother refused to find another love match. She'd only gotten twelve years with her soulmate, but according to her, even twelve minutes with John would've been enough for a lifetime.

As for Jane? Well, she was more in the 'character over soulmarks' camp. She had a mark, but she didn't think much of it. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your point of view, her words were unique and not something just anyone would say. That being the case, Jane wasn't holding her breath, and in her dating life, she endeavored to be more practical about finding a partner. Thor aside, she was not one for flights of fancy with handsome men. She had a date lined up next Saturday with a nice, normal guy who worked in advertising. They'd already met once, and he had no mark, so there would be no awkwardness between them.

In truth, she wondered if Darcy wasn't taking things with Steve a little too fast. That they hadn't had sex yet when Darcy had been all over him before this grandfather thing happened was a minor miracle. She wasn't about to voice her concerns, though. Darcy was her best friend, but she was also a big girl who could make her own decisions. Steve was an uncommonly good man anyway. He'd never hurt Darcy.

(And if he did, it wouldn't matter in the slightest that he was a giant super soldier and Jane was a tiny woman with no combat experience. She'd find a way to beat the crap out of him.)

"Target is in sight," Darcy said, looking through a high-tech pair of binoculars at Bucky Barnes, who was three tables over with Sam Wilson. "He is currently eating a burger and fries with what appears to be a milkshake. Target is now pointing at something over Mr. Wilson's head. Mr. Wilson is now looking. Target is now replenishing his fries with Mr. Wilson's fries."

"Darcy, we can all see what he's doing," Jane said, as Sam caught Barnes taking another handful of fries and proceeded to grab Barnes's entire tray, burger and all. "We don't need a play by play."

"Haven't you ever seen a spy movie, Jane?" Darcy shot her a glare. "This is how you do it. Okay, looks like Target is going to order more fries. You're up, Steve."

She patted her lover on the hand, but rather than go off gallantly to face the peril, he just looked at her. "What? I thought you were going to tell him."

"No, we agreed that you'd break the news to him last night, remember?"

"I remember a lot of things about last night, but that discussion is not one of them."

"Steve, can you be a little more subtle?" Darcy jerked a finger at Jane. "We have company."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so I shouldn't mention that thing you do with your tongue-"

"No! What the hell? You're Captain America! I thought you were supposed to be wholesome and stuff."

"I didn't hear any complaints last night," said Steve, making Darcy's face so red that Jane was sure she'd pop like a balloon at even the slightest touch.

"Oh yeah?" she sputtered. "Well, I… I... thumb war! Loser has to tell him."

She held up her thumb, forcing Steve's hand into hers with his thumb also raised. As she was loudly explaining the rules, Jane wondered if it wasn't too late to go back to her lab and spend the rest of the day copying written equations into her computer. She clapped a hand over her face as Darcy and Steve's first thumb war ended in a draw.

"Round two! Best two out of three!" Darcy shouted.

"My God, you are both children!" Jane got up and walked around the table. "I'll tell him, okay? I can't believe I'm the only real adult here right now."

"Be gentle!" Darcy called out after her. "Don't just come out with it. Talk about the weather first."

Jane ignored her and maneuvered around the scores of people crowding the food court. It was the busiest time of day for Stark tower tourism, and Jane almost lost track of Barnes two or three times before finally catching him at the head of the line at Burger King. He paid for two jumbo orders of french fries and two more burgers. Anyone else would be the size of a planet if they ate like that, but since he was a super soldier with metabolism faster than the speed of light, the only thing thick about him was his muscles. He was just like Steve in that regard: big and tall and probably rock solid. Even knowing his relation to Darcy, Jane couldn't stop staring at him, in his sinfully tight t-shirt and painted on blue jeans. She was starting to think she had a thing for buff guys. First Thor, now this.

She went up to Barnes, catching him on the way back to his table. His blue eyes struck her with their depth and brilliance. The words almost caught in her throat, but before he could speak, she forced them out.

"Sergeant Barnes, I need to talk to you about something very important."

Too late she realized that Darcy may have been right about just blurting it out. It wasn't like her and Barnes were bosom companions. They'd never been within ten feet of each other before now, and here she was insisting that they speak about something personal and life-changing.

Not that he could know about that yet unless he was psychic (or unless super soldier hearing was even better than she thought), so when he continued to gawk at her long after she'd finished speaking, it didn't really make much sense to her. He dropped his tray onto the nearest empty table. Slowly, the look of shock melted away into an exuberant grin that reminded her of those old wartime film reels.

Then he spoke: "Anything for you, beautiful. I'm all yours."

Then, Jane _couldn't_ speak. She could only feel a tingling on her upper stomach where those exact words had been written for as long as she could remember. Barnes's grin widened as he took her gobsmacked expression for the confirmation that it was.

"Oh my God…" Jane said, not resisting when he pulled her into his arms.

"Whatever you wanted to say before," he said huskily in her ear, making her shiver. "Think it can wait?"

"I guess it'll have to," Jane breathed, as Bucky, Darcy's grandfather, _her soulmate,_ pressed a kiss to the side of her mouth.

And just like that, Jane Foster was the luckiest and the unluckiest woman to ever live.


	3. Component No 3: Bucky Barnes

**COMPONENT NO. 3: Bucky Barnes**

Bucky Barnes had never been happier in his life. Especially not in the last seventy years.

What happened to him while in HYDRA's grasp was unspeakable and unthinkable, so he tried his best not to speak or think about any of it outside of his bi-weekly therapy sessions or with Steve late at night during an anxiety attack. He also tried to amend for what he'd been made to do by taking on the occasional world saving mission with the Avengers. There had been about six of those since the doctors declared him completely rehabilitated. According to the public, he was a full-fledged member of the team, but Bucky wasn't so sure that he deserved to be.

Nevertheless, he'd been feeling better lately. His mind was his own again; Thor having helpfully enlisted some of Asgard's top healers and brain specialists to get all of HYDRA's filth out of him. He had Steve back, and keeping the dumb son of a bitch out of trouble was much easier now that he could carry him out of unnecessary fights again. There was only one thing he needed to truly be content, and he'd just found her in a food court of all places, so suddenly that it was as if God himself had come down from heaven just to throw her into his path.

"It's Jane, right?" he asked. He'd seen her around and thought she was a beauty just from her face, and then he'd read part of her thesis while unable to sleep one night after a mission and pretty much fell in love with her. Now she was his soulmate! This was the best day of his life.

"Y-yes," she said. "That's right."

He frowned. She must've really not been prepared for this if it was getting to her this badly. His innate protective instincts flared, and he tightened his arms around her. He watched that he didn't use too much strength, but now that she was pressed so intimately against him, he understood exactly why Steve had wasted no time when he found Darcy.

Speaking of which, both of them were coming over.

"What is going on here?" Darcy shouted. "Jane, what are you doing? This is hardly what we talked about!"

"Did you guys send her here?" Bucky asked, and he tried not to crack a grin at how incredibly silly they both looked right now, what with Steve trying to hide his giant self behind Darcy's not-that-giant self, and Darcy spewing out half-formed nonsense words while smoking at the ears. "Well, thanks for finding my soulmate for me!"

"Your whatnow?" asked Darcy, her arms falling limp at her sides as her anger was extinguished. Now she just appeared to be dead to the world. Sort of like Steve did.

They were just two peas in a pod, weren't they?

* * *

Jane asked Bucky to meet her in her apartment later that night. Bucky had been very smooth and debonair when he promised to come five minutes early and give her a night she'd never forget, and then he spent the hours in his apartment scouring his closet for something halfway decent to wear. He changed at least five times but eventually settled on a nice black shirt with dark blue pants and a matching jacket. His gelled his hair back and decided not to shave since according to the latest gossip magazines (not that he read those), he looked best with a little stubble.

Jane Foster wasn't going to know what hit her!

He grabbed the flowers that he'd bought and made it to her place ten minutes early. Jane was ready and waiting when Bucky let himself in, but she wasn't alone.

"I don't know what to tell you guys!" She was saying. "He said my words and I just lost it. I couldn't think, I just… shut down."

"Yeah what a great mature adult you turned out to be," Darcy said. Bucky's brow furrowed. Why wasn't she with Steve right now?

"Look, we've still got to tell him," said Steve. Bucky heard him get up and begin pacing. "Jane being his soulmate makes things a little more difficult, but there is still a way we can deal with this."

"I'm excited to hear your ideas, babe, because I can't think of shit. I'm too busy being grossed out."

"Darcy, calm down," Jane said. "I didn't ask for this to happen, but it did, and I'm not just going to reject Bucky to make you feel better."

"Why not?"

"Because he's my soulmate!"

"I'm sorry, who am I talking to right now?" asked Darcy. "Are you still Jane Foster or were you replaced by a pod person when I wasn't looking?"

There was a slight pause, during which time Bucky slid down the hall in the shadows, his assassin training coming in handy to keep even Steve unaware of his presence.

"I know I always said my mark didn't matter." Jane's voice softened. "I figured those stories about finding your soulmate and the world becoming perfect were just fairy tales for kids. Non-soulmate couples fall in love and have long, happy marriages all the time, so it should stand to reason that a soulmark makes no big difference in the long run. I just… when he held me and spoke to me, it felt so _right_. It was the happiest I've felt since… ever. I can't explain it. Don't you feel that way with Steve?"

"That's different, Jane," Darcy said. She then suddenly appeared in the doorway, planting herself inches away from Bucky and balling her fists. "Because in case you've forgotten, Bucky is still my grandfather!"

Bucky dropped the flowers. "I'M YOUR _WHAT?_ "

Darcy whirled around. Steve and Jane's oddly identical horrified faces poked out from the doorway, watching the scene unfold like the trainwreck that it was. While Bucky's higher brain functions began to collapse, he could've sworn her heard his sister's characteristic nervous laugh emit from Darcy Lewis's mouth.

"Wow, I really need to look before I speak."

* * *

Bucky sat alone with Darcy in the living room of Jane's apartment. Jane was with Steve in the kitchen, the two of them granting their respective soulmates privacy for their um… family reunion. While Bucky was still having some trouble processing what he'd just found out, it was at least not the worst thing that had ever happened to him. Not by a long shot. _This_ wasn't going to get anyone killed.

"So do I have to threaten Steve never to hurt you now?" he wondered out loud. It was the first thing either of them had said, and immediately Bucky wished he'd picked a better opener.

"If you want, I guess," said Darcy awkwardly. She fiddled with some paper she'd taken off the coffee table. She folded all four corners, crumbled it up and threw it into the trash bin. Her aim was pretty good.

 _'She got that from you,'_ said a snickering voice in his head.

"It was my father if you were wondering," Darcy said, brushing hair out of her eyes. "My grandmother's son, I mean. Your son. With my grandma Connie."

"Connie, huh?" Bucky smiled a little at the memory. "She was a swell gal. I'm sorry I didn't get to know her better."

"Well, you did get her pregnant," Darcy said. At Bucky's stricken face, she softened. "I mean, I know it wasn't all your fault. I'm sure if you'd been able to go home, you would've helped." 

"Of course," Bucky said. "I'd have married her on the spot if she hadn't found her soulmate while I was gone."

"But then you'd never have found Jane," Darcy said.

This soulmate thing was even more intense than Bucky thought. Not even a day, and already the idea of being without Jane felt like a knife through his chest. "So your father is..."

Darcy hung her head, but she didn't have to. That her father was long dead from cancer wasn't news to him. Everyone who came to live in the tower, he personally vetted just to appease the lingering paranoia that anyone and everyone was a HYDRA mole in disguise. He was getting better about it, but he still memorized the full name and blood type of all the tower's residents He never would've guessed that a stupid habit of his would lead to this kind of emotional conflict.

He had a son he would never know, and a granddaughter who looked like she could be his sister. To think some people only had to worry about paying bills on time.

"He was amazing," Darcy said. "The best dad a girl could ask for. He was in his fifties when he met my mom, but she said she fell in love with his smile, and how kind he was to everyone. He always stuck up for people who couldn't stick up for themselves."

"Sounds like my kind of guy," Bucky said thickly.

Darcy grabbed her purse and fished out a photograph. It showed a man, graying but still youthful, holding a six or seven year old girl in his arms. Blue eyes stared back at blue, sightless but still so filled with life.

"You can keep that if you want," said Darcy. "I have more."

"Thanks." Bucky slid it into his pocket after a final lingering look. "Well, I guess there's not much to say except that you don't have to call me 'grandpa' if you don't want to."

Darcy sighed with relief. "Good. I really don't want to. Especially since you're with Jane now. You realize this is going to make her my step-grandma, right?"

"You're thinking too far ahead, Darcy. Jane and I only just met."

* * *

Five months later, Darcy cried hysterical tears of joy as Bucky and Jane said their vows. Jane looked positively radiant in a white dress that almost completely covered the baby bump.


	4. Component No 4: Steve Rogers

**COMPONENT NO. 4: Steve Rogers**

They'd been in the hospital waiting room for eight hours. Steve finished reading the pamphlet on CPR guidelines and then started on the one about patient rights. He got pretty in-depth into the credentials of the on-staff legal counsel, and then Darcy snatched it out of his hands.

"How can you be reading at a time like this?" she snapped. "And if you have to read, why are you reading _that?_ There are magazines here!"

"I'm not reading for pleasure, Darc," Steve said. "Believe me, I'm just as worried about Jane as you are."

"Well, neither of us would have to worry if _someone_ would tell us what's going on!" She gave the triage nurse a very pointed look, and as with all the other times she tried that tactic, it got her nowhere. Before, the nurse would at least apologize for the lack of updates from the doctor. Now, it seemed, Darcy's constant badgering had driven her to a state of detachment even the most seasoned physician would envy.

When the doctor did come out, Darcy was the first one on her feet. In fact, she seemed to teleport across the room to accost the man. "What's going on? Is Jane okay? What about the baby?"

"Everything's fine," the doctor said. He was an older man with a round belly and a beard like Santa Claus. "There were a few minor complications, but we're past it, and both mother and child are perfectly healthy."

"Oh thank God," Darcy said. She raced down the hall and Steve had to run to catch up.

"Excuse me, miss!" the doctor called after her. "You have to be family to go in there."

"I am family, I'm Jane's granddaughter."

Steve rolled his eyes as he overtook Darcy and beat her to Jane's room by almost a full minute. She was asleep, her brow drenched in sweat, but her expression peaceful. Bucky sat at her bedside with a tiny blue bundle in his arms. He was on the verge of tears as a hand stretched out to touch his face. The newborn gurgled and kicked a foot up. He was a tough little guy, just like his parents.

"He's so beautiful," Bucky said. "I can't believe it…"

Steve and Darcy went over to have a look at him. His pink face was scrunched up and beat red. He must've come out screaming. Bucky was right, though. He was beautiful. He had Jane's eyes, but that face was all Bucky. He'd be a heartbreaker someday. A real ladies man.

Four days later, Jane and the baby were given clean bills of health and Bucky happily rolled them out to the waiting car to go home. Jane was eager to get back to work and show little Jacob around his new room. She'd had it specially decorated with a star-shaped mobile, spaceship bedsheets and a detailed map of the Milky Way Galaxy painted on the ceiling. The only thing missing were the complex mathematical equations and formulas.

"I convinced her that we should wait until he's in preschool," Bucky whispered to Darcy while Jane wasn't listening.

After putting the baby to sleep, the four of them retired to the living room. With Jacob's baby monitor perched on the coffee table, they felt free to enjoy some light drinks and stories about Bucky and Steve's trip to Bulgaria to take out another recently unearthed HYDRA cell. Thanks to an unfortunate encounter with some knockout gas, Bucky remembered way more about it than Steve did, so he sat back and let his friend do most of the talking. He placed his hand over Darcy's, relishing her soft skin and thinking about all the other parts of her he'd be touching tonight.

If things went the way he hoped they would, the two of them would have a lot to celebrate. The diamond ring was in his nightstand drawer. He'd been waiting for Jane to have the baby before he popped the question so that there would be nothing to distract them. They could have a simple wedding here like Bucky and Jane had. Maybe in the banquet hall Tony recently installed instead of the roof. Steve would be fine with anything as long as it was Darcy next to him at the altar.

The knock at the door came around eleven, which was weird because everyone who didn't sleep regular hours wouldn't be in this part of the building right now. Tony let himself in with only a word of invitation from Jane. He had his laptop under his arm and appeared frazzled, tittering on his toes as he pulled up a chair.

"Sorry to interrupt the festivities," Tony said. He smiled at Jane. "Congrats, by the way. You're gonna be one hell of a MILF fifteen years from now."

"Thanks, Tony," said Jane, bemused, while Bucky pulled her closer to him and shot Tony a death glare.

"Tony, what's wrong?" asked Steve.

"Nothing," said Tony. "Well, maybe nothing. Depends on how you feel when I tell you."

He pulled out his personal laptop, which was powered on with a strange program open. Steve couldn't make out most of the page, but it appeared to be some kind of genetics profile. On the top left side was a picture of Jane.

"Okay, so while Jane was in labor, there were some complications, right?" Tony moved the laptop aside. "The baby was a week premature and all DNA scans indicate that he's inherited his father's physical enhancements. So he's already a very strong kid, and that made giving birth the natural way exceptionally painful."

"Thanks for letting me know," said Jane as she leaned into Bucky's embrace.

"Long story short, the doctors were weirded out by how little actual damage there was considering how much pain you complained of. They did a full x-ray and investigated your medical history. Jane, you've always been a very healthy person, no major illness or chronic conditions. You were never in the hospital before you gave birth. Never broke or sprained anything. Never had the flu. You were vaccinated, but you haven't had any boosters since then. All of this despite being five foot nothing and skinny as a rail."

"Tony, get to the point," Jane said. "I don't need you to tell me how my body works. And please lower your voice before you wake up Jacob."

"The point is, you being as healthy as you are given your general physical condition is strange. It's not impossible, but a look into your family history shows a lot of cancer, arthritis, diabetes, back problems, genetic diseases… but it's only on your mother's side. Your father, from what I can tell, was just like you. Small and skinny, but always in perfect health."

"Do you even _have_ a point, Tony?" Bucky asked.

"Well, I hope I'm not dropping a bomb with this one," Tony said, tapping a few keys to pull up a new page, this one an adoption form, "but it turns out Jane's father shared no biological characteristics with his parents whatsoever."

"You came here to tell me my dad was adopted?" Jane asked. "I knew that when I was a kid."

"But did you know that your father's official birth records have been sealed by the government?" said Tony.

Apparently, she hadn't. All traces of annoyance disappeared from her face. "What are you talking about?"

"I had to do some digging to be sure," said Tony. He started typing again. "Took me days, which is why I didn't bring it up before. I just got the final confirmation a few minutes ago. It turns out that John Foster was originally born in Manhattan, and he was adopted out by an agency known only as 'Protected Children Foundation', an organization which, as far as I can tell, did not exist before he was born and ceased to exist after his adoption."

"You're saying it was a front," said Steve.

"Yup, and you'll never guess what friendly neighborhood shady government agency created it."

"Not SHIELD," Darcy said, eyes widening.

"Bingo! Point for Mrs. Cap," said Tony.

"Wait, Tony, are you telling me my father's real parents were _SHIELD agents?"_

"Not exactly. See, I can't find any concrete evidence for why they did this. I can only theorize, and what I'm thinking is that they wanted to try making a new supersoldier out of the one they already had. So they hired a surrogate, or maybe a female agent graciously volunteered the use of her body, and used frozen sperm samples to impregnate her. What they got, however, wasn't a supersoldier, just someone with a uniquely strong immune system, one that he would pass on to his own child, which would then enable her to successfully give birth to a superbaby."

He stopped there, presumably to allow it all to sink in. Steve's first reaction was to be irritated that those scientists who initially asked him for sperm samples hadn't destroyed them like they said they would.

"Wait," he said, his blood running cold. "If that's how Jane's father was born, then that means… that means that we…"

"You got it, Cap," Tony said, holding up a printout with his picture and Jane's and a big red 'POSITIVE MATCH' stamped over the smaller print. "The results are in, and congratulations, you ARE Jane Foster's grandfather!"

"WHAT?" Jane and Steve shouted together, punctuated by a sharp cry issuing from the baby's room.

* * *

Darcy and Steve got back to their apartment late, after an hour of arguing with Tony over where he got those test results and how he even got their DNA to run a test and all sorts of petty nothings that didn't change the fact that all of his accumulated evidence was damning. Steve went straight for the bed while Darcy busied herself in the bathroom for an hour. Not that Steve blamed her. What they'd just found out was like repeating the last ten months almost to the letter. The only difference was that now it would be him and Jane awkwardly dancing around each other. He wondered if she had managed to calm Jacob down yet or if Bucky was still catatonic on the couch. Jane had assured him that she could handle it before he left. Or rather, she assured his shoes.

"Okay," Darcy said, coming out of the bathroom. "So Jane's your granddaughter."

"Yeah," Steve said.

She sat next to him. "And I'm Bucky's granddaughter."

"Yup."

"So does this mean it's weird now?"

Steve furrowed his brow. "What is?"

"Us," Darcy said, apprehension written across her features. "I mean, I guess it was already kind of weird when it was just me and Bucky, but now it's you and Jane, so… if that's too weird for you, I'd understand."

Her shoes were off and her toes curled. The nails were painted red and blue, her little tribute to him. Some of the red polish on her big toe was chipping off. His eyes trailed up her legs clothed in polka dot pajama pants and the matching powder blue t-shirt that clung to her body. Her glasses were off, her eyes unobstructed, and so so beautiful. He cupped her cheek with one hand, bringing his face closer to hers so their lips would meet. The kiss was chaste for now, and he broke it after only a few seconds.

"Was that weird?" he asked.

Her lips were parted, her eyes half closed. "I'm not sure," she said, and she pulled herself into his lap. "Let's try one more time."

They soon found themselves under the covers. Their clothes were strewn about the room and their mouths everywhere at once. Darcy laid on Steve's chest afterward, drawing lazy circles around his nipple. One of Steve's arms, the one with her words, was thrown over her back. Somehow, for all that had happened today, the moment was perfect.

"It wasn't weird," he said.

"You bet your sweet tight ass it wasn't."

Darcy rolled off to her side of the bed and Steve spooned her, his fingers playing at the nape of her neck. The ring in the drawer would have to wait until tomorrow, but it was coming out as soon as possible. "We'll talk to Bucky and Jane about it tomorrow. I just hope they're going to be okay with this."

"It'll be fine," said Darcy. "I mean yeah, I freaked out a little about me and Bucky, but I've learned that the best way to deal with something like this is to never let it get to you. Just keep your high head and your heart open. Or some Hallmark shit like that. Also make jokes. Lots and lots of jokes."

Steve chuckled and kissed the crown of her head. "You always know how to make everything seem okay, doll."

"Baby you know it."

* * *

 **SOME TIME LATER**

"Merry Christmas, Grandma and Grandpa!" Darcy shouted as she threw open the door to Bucky and Jane's apartment. "Your grandma and grandpa are here!"

Bucky walked by with an empty tray of cookies and rolled his eyes at her, while Jane didn't get up at all. She had Jacob in her lap and was feeding him from a bottle. His childishly wide eyes followed Darcy into the living room, where she dropped the gifts under the tree and rushed over. The baby was like a magnet to her, reeling her in like bees to honey.

"Oh, there you are, you cute wittle thing," she cooed. "You're just the cutest wittle baby ever. Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"Doll, knock it off," Steve said. Nevertheless, he cracked a grin at his fiance's antics. "Let Jane feed him."

"I am, thank you," Darcy said. "Aww, you're so cute and tiny. Look at your big chubby cheeks. I just wanna squeeze 'em forever."

"Lewis, if you smother that baby, then I swear to god-"

"Grandpa!" Darcy shouted at Bucky. "Is that any way to speak to your grandma? Grandma, as your grandma, I insist that you set Grandpa straight immediately."

"And I insist that you stop calling me grandma," said Jane.

"No can do, Grandma. This is how I cope, remember?"

"Well, Jane and I cope by just never talking about it," said Bucky. "I don't understand why you can't do the same."

"You should," Darcy replied. "You're the one that's related to me."

"Somehow…"

"Okay, come on, no fighting on Christmas," Jane said.

Jacob finished his bottle and sighed before falling asleep. Jane carried him back to his room to put him down for the night while Darcy broke out the eggnog.

"I propose a toast," she said, raising a glass. "To grandparents! And to Christmas day! And to my wonderful little great-grandson slash uncle. May he one day marry someone other than the best friend of his granddaughter."

"Amen to that," said Bucky, clinking his glass on hers. "At least he might actually be grey when he has them."

"You've got some grays coming in," Steve said, plucking a stray hair off Bucky's head. It earned him a shove and a glare, but Steve just laughed. "What's wrong, Grandpa? Feeling old?"

Bucky jerked a thumb at Jacob's room with an evil smile. "Not as old as you, Great-Grandpa."

"Bucky, Grandpa, stop fighting," said Jane. "Be good grandparents and set good examples."

She high fived Darcy as their husbands slash grandfathers slash grandsons sulked like overgrown toddlers. They chatted and laughed well into the night, Christmas carols playing from the speakers overhead as eggnog was consumed and a few early gifts were exchanged. Bucky and Jane enjoyed their 'No. 1 Grandparent' mugs, while Steve couldn't say he was displeased with his 'I love my grandkids' knit sweater.

At the end of the day, theirs was a conundrum that most people would never conceive of. Two seemingly young couples becoming each other's grandparents? Ridiculous. While others would scoff at the preposterous idea, Bucky and Jane and Darcy and Steve would all share knowing glances, because as strange and unheard of as their situation was, together they had friendship, and they had love, and they had family. And for an unsolvable problem such as this, that would always be the perfect solution.

* * *

"So when do we tell Bucky that Grandma Connie wants to see him?" Darcy discreetly whispered in Steve's ear.

"Maybe after the holidays," he said. "We don't want to give the old man a heart attack."


End file.
